Stop A Divorce - Solutions To Stop A Divorce Immediately! By Sabrina Kinam

Stop A Divorce - Solutions To Stop A Divorce Immediately!
By Sabrina Kinam

People prefer divorce as they think that their relationship will not flourish further, also they want to put an end to shouting, fighting and arguing. So they think divorce as a good solution to end these hostilities.

However, it is not the answer of your prolonged disturbed relationship. How can you guarantee happiness after divorce in your new marriage? So think and rethink carefully about your move. A divorce alleviates all possible chances for the restoration of your marriage.

If you are sick of your strained married life and still making efforts to find a solution to divorce shows your crave to salvage marriage. It is obvious that you love your partner and still have a belief that marriage can work. By doing so you are rediscovering your relationship.

1. The first solution to stop a divorce is to think about the causes due to which your conjugal life has stopped blooming. Think clearly is divorce the only solution to your hopeless married life. Now work on your marriage individually and collectively by identifying its sensitive areas.

2. Figure out the core causes of the ongoing bickering and focus on resolution instead of termination. Now find out how could your relation be improved. What alterations are needed, should you alter your behavior, habit, attitude etc. What will be the goal-oriented solutions? You might also have to alter your actions, you need to be a good listener, and you need to respect each other

3. Maximize your ability of compromising to different matters and situations. You should bear in mind you have to stop separation and divorce.

4. The last effective solution requires you to rejuvenate the love for each other. Go to the places you used to go, do the things you used to do. Also regenerate you’re past soothing and tender memories.

5. Work out your differences and ditch your isolation. Enjoy your life, you both need some enjoyable, wild and romantic discussions.

You could minimize even eliminate the chances of divorce from your life, if you follow these simple but convincing guidelines and start working on your relationship.

If you are in a failing relationship, it can be easy to quickly give up and either silently suffer or make a wrong decision. Instead of doing these things, you should seek out advice. Seeking good marriage advice and following it can help change your marriage into a healthy relationship that you will enjoy. However, MAKE sure that you do not accept advice from just anyone except a reliable source. If you ask for my opinion, I think Save My Marriage Today is the most reliable source you can ever find. It was written in an easy to understand way, so check it out today and start getting back on right track and bringing the lost love back to make your marriage successful again and to avoid all the hassles.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sabrina_Kinam

Divorce Tips To Reduce Stress

 

 

Divorce Tips To Reduce Stress

Often the first few days after a couple choose to Divorce can be extremely difficult for both parties concerned. In some cases where one of the partners is completely unprepared for what is happening they will find it even more difficult to understand why they have ended up in this situation in the first place. But certainly the first thing any person should be doing is getting as much advice as possible as they can as to where they stand in relation to Divorce settlements etc. In this particular article we provide some Divorce tips for him which should make this process a little easier to cope with.
Tip 1 – Never Sign Preliminary Agreements
Often men in an attempt to get their Divorce over and done with as quickly as possible will sign and document which on later inspection by their attorney can actually be impossible for them to get out of. Some men without realizing it have signed papers that results in them losing not just a share in the family home, but also the chance to see their children. So before signing any paperwork presented to you by your partner get your attorney to read it through and get them to negotiate with your partner’s attorney any changes that you wish to make.
Tip 2 – Making Irrational Decisions
Unfortunately a man will be under considerable amounts of stress and will try and cope with the situation on their own rather than let people think he can not handle it. Rather they should be seeking advice and support from those around them and from their attorney as this will then assure that they make the most sensible decisions possible.
Tip 3 – Set Up Your Own Checking Account
It is important that you have access to your own supply of funds so as soon as you know that Divorce proceedings are going to be taking place arrange to set up your own checking account. Also arrange with your employer that all your future salaries are then paid directly into this account rather than the joint one you had with your partner. A lot of men unfortunately during the first days of their Divorce will go to their joint account to obtain funds to help pay for their living expenses only to find it has been completely cleaned out. Unfortunately for men it is much more difficult for them to be able to get emergency housing or a refuge as these are generally only available to women.
Tip 4 – Make Sure You Have a Secure Mail Address
Like many men you will probably find yourself having to leave the family home and so you will need to provide an address to your attorney, bank and other official agencies including the Inland Revenue office where correspondence can be sent to. If you are going to be living in temporary accommodation and you don’t want your personal correspondence sent there then arrange with either your parents or another close relative to have your mail sent to their address instead. However if you are not able to avail of your parents or relatives good will in this respect then you will be better off renting a mail box instead.
Keeping the above tips in mind will make dealing with your divorce proceedings much easier and will certainly take away some of the stress that such a situation can cause.

Posted by Framme Law Firm PC at 12:30 PM

http://vadivorceformen.blogspot.com/2008/05/divorce-tips-to-reduce-stress_07.html

Tips For Dating After A Divorce

Tips For Dating After A Divorce
By Pauline Go

Dating after a legal separation or divorce may sometimes be packed with nervousness, over cautiousness or a cynical attitude. After divorce, if you are interested in dating, please consider it as your first date. Treat your date with care when you went out on your first date ever.

Coming out of a relationship can be a miserable time and to overcome the memories of previous relationship while dating may be difficult. Here are some useful tips for dating after a divorce:

Learn from your past relationship:

Learning from mistakes in a previous relationship may help to choose a new date. It is better to stay away from any new relationship until you are ready. In other words, give some time to yourself and think about your past relationship’s issues and learn from your mistakes. This will help you find a date that is more compatible.

Find your match on the internet:

Online dating services are no longer a hub for singles, graduates or college students. Quite interestingly, a recent study has shown that more and more divorced people prefer online dating and romance sites than matchmaker agencies to find their perfect match.

Avoid talking about your Ex:

Okay, so you are dating somebody and having a chat at a restaurant. Please avoid talking anything which involves your previous relationship. This means no talking about your ex-husband or wife. After all the last your date wants to know is how great or disgusting your previous partner was.

Obey the rules of the road:

If you are in a car with your date, be courteous to other drivers and obey the rules of the road. Even if you are being overtaken by some cab, act as if nothing has happened. Your date may get paralyzed with fear if you try to take some revenge by chasing down other drivers who have offended you in some way. She or he will surely not want to see you again thinking you are a psychopath!

About Author:

Pauline Go is a professional writer for many dating websites. She also writes other great articles like French Kissing Techniques, Find Diamond Engagement Rings, How To Avoid Emotional Cheating In Marriage,

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pauline_Go

Restore Marriage - 3 Things You Want To Change About Yourself To Restore Marriage

Restore Marriage - 3 Things You Want To Change About Yourself To Restore Marriage
By Allan Lim

Divorce is usually caused by more than one problem built up over a period of time. Fortunately, contrary to what many people may believe, you have a lot of power in restoring your marriage, even if your partner is not making any effort to do so.

Sometimes, all you need to do is to stop what you should not be doing and to change the way you react to certain situations. Are you making these mistakes?

1) Not giving in

You should always treat your partner as your equal. No one is superior over the other. Both of you play a complementary role. Perhaps, what brought both of you together is the many similarities that both of you share.

However, you should always realize that everyone on this planet is unique. No two people are completely alike. It is very likely that sometimes, both of you will have different opinions. Therefore, it should always be a give and take. Sometimes, you will go your way. Sometimes, you will give in to your partner.

2) Not wanting to change

Is there some undesirable habit that you should stop doing immediately? Perhaps, it annoys your partner very much and you do agree. However, you do not want to change. Let’s ask yourself this question, will you choose option (a) or (b).

(a) Do you want to be slightly uncomfortable in the begging, in order to change your habit and keep a great relationship with your partner?

(b) Do you want to stay comfortable and not change but risk driving your partner away in the future?

I sure you know your answer. I am not asking you to surrender your rights here. I am just asking you to become a better person.

3) Denial

Do you realize that there are problems appearing in your marriage but you refuse to accept it, or simply cheat yourself that it is not there? Perhaps, you do not want to deal with the pain.

The problem with this approach is that the problem will usually not go away by ignoring it. In fact, sometime the problem may get worse and will even be more painful later on.

For example, if you suspect that your partner is engage in acts of infidelity, do you deny it? Sometimes, it is best to leave the relationship in this situation. However, if you want to restore the relationship, it is in your best interest to face the problem as soon as possible before it gets out of control.

How to restore marriage? You have the power to save your marriage even if you are the only one trying and your spouse refuses to communicate.

Are you displaying any of these 25 marriage killers?

Visit http://www.squidoo.com/can_i_save_my_marriage Can I Save My Marriage to find out what they are and how you can get rid of them.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Allan_Lim

Divorce Rates Warrant The Need For Ways To Save A Marriage

Divorce Rates Warrant The Need For Ways To Save A Marriage
By Phil Tsang

If you knew the percentage of failed marriages, then you might too be putting your marriage back on track by finding ways to save a marriage. It’s startling to know how many marriages end up in divorce. In fact, if I told you, you’d think I was making it up.

Figures show that 50% of marriages end in divorce. At first glance you might be thinking it’s impossibly high, but let me ask you this ‘How many marriages that you know of have ended up in divorce?’ When was the last time you were in need of ways to repair a marriage in trouble?

Even higher is the percentage of divorce rates for remarried couples at 75%. I can hear you now - processing all those ways to save a marriage in your head. Indeed the thought that you could be just another statistic does hit home. Treat this as a wake up call. Marriages are far easier to destroy than people realize.

It takes work to keep a marriage together. If you’re a newlywed then you’ve got a few good months or even a year of marital bliss (perhaps). But you better arm yourself with ways to repair a marriage in trouble, because frankly you’re going to need it.

Yes, marriages can bring love and happiness into ones life, but it can also bring a whole lot of other stuff that people forget to mention. So if you thought that you could just go on without putting an ounce of effort into your marriage, think again.

Wedding vows are as strong as a married couple makes it to be. The very few build strong foundations ensuring longevity, others wait out their lifeless bond until the very end, but most just pack it in without even looking for ways to save a marriage.

A marriage isn’t just a fairytale of love and romance, then again you probably knew that. Spouses need to pay attention to the fact that a relationship takes daily maintenance. Divorce is becoming such a norm that couples should make an effort to change their ways.

Conflicts are best resolved sooner than later, however often spouses fail to go about ways to repair a marriage in trouble the right tact. And why should they? Being married doesn’t make you a marriage expert - the divorce rates in remarriages already show that.

Even so, it’s still best to try and find ways to save a marriage than leave it too late. The act of doing something rather than just sleeping on it will improve your chances of saving a marriage. Of course there are less risky ways than to rely on your own instincts. Thankfully there is help at hand. Through credible sources and expert knowledge you can make your marriage a success.

Click the following link to find out ways to save a marriage. Go to http://waystosaveamarriagenow.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Phil_Tsang

How to Avoid a Bloody Divorce Battle

How to Avoid a Bloody Divorce Battle
By Cristi Trusler

Divorce court is usually the final battlefield for a self-destructing marriage. And it’s often a bloody one.

But a battle is usually the wrong way to manage such critical issues as parenting, family finances, and the emotional well-being of loved ones, say proponents of collaborative divorce, a popular mediation method.

Pent up anger and hostility are reinforced by the adversarial nature of traditional divorce, they say. These strong emotions overshadow the needs of their children and the family’s future financial security.

The ‘legal issues’ divorcing couple often raise in court "May just be (their) unresolved emotions in disguise," says Dr. Robert Emery, director of the University of Virginia’s Center for Children, Families, and the Law. "Unmanaged emotions and parental conflict put the ‘bad’ in bad divorce," he said in "The Truth About Children And Divorce."

In contrast, collaborative divorce is a unique settlement technique, designed to keep emotions in check, so that the intricacies of divorce can be managed and mediated. The process requires attorneys skilled in dispute and conflict resolution.

Both parties still have their individual interests protected by their own attorneys, but, in this case success is measured by whether or not both parties win.

So much so, that, should the settlement process break down and end up in court, both lawyers are fired by their respective clients - and they must sign an agreement up front saying so.

"That one rule just shifts the whole game," says Stu Webb, the family attorney credited as the creator of collaborative divorce back in the early 90s.

Both the couple and their attorneys must also pledge that they will treat each other courteously, that no one will take advantage of mistakes made by another in the sessions, on total, open disclosure, and that the entire mediation will be confidential.

The four participants often bring in outside experts to provide tools to better manage the dissolution of the marriage. These experts can be parenting coordinators trained in helping offset the impact on the children, financial advisors, time management coaches to help establish parenting schedules.

Statistics, proponents say, bear out the value of collaborative divorce. Studies suggest that only 5 percent of such cases end up winding up in the courtroom. Others indicate that the collaborative divorce procedure is nearly always less expensive.

This cooperative nature also seems to have a positive impact for family members in the years following a divorce. In a study spanning 12-years, Emery found that, of parents living in a different locale than their children 52 percent of those who participated in a mediated divorce talked to their children weekly. But of those whose divorce was conducted in court, only 14 percent did so.

These kinds of results have spurred the growth of collaborative divorce to 26 states, Canada, Europe and Australia. Texas recently became the first state to enact a collaborative law statute.

Cristi Trusler is a Divorce Lawyer in Austin and is a strong advocate of the collaborative process. If you’re not sure you’re ready for divorce, we’ve made it easy for you to find marriage counselors in Austin so you can work on your relationship instead of ending it.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cristi_Trusler

Recovering from Divorce - Honor the Truth

Recovering from Divorce - Honor the Truth
By Shelley Stile

 

 

Do you remember the old adage that states there’s your side, there’s my side and then there’s the truth? If we were totally honest with ourselves, we too could see the truth of any situation. Once we accept that truth, we have the newfound freedom to gain clarity, discover our options and make real choices that are based in reality and not a subjective interpretation of what is. The past no longer runs the show. A world of possibilities opens that we might otherwise have missed. To recover from divorce one must face the truth.

The gist of the adage is that we don’t really see reality for what it is. Rather we see things through our interpretive abilities and we interpret things based on our past experiences. Reality gets fine tuned through our own personal filters. We live in a world based on the past, a world that no longer exists.

Here’s an example. Recently I was coaching a woman and we were discussing how she had interpreted her Mom’s behavior to mean that she wasn’t lovable. She had a brother and a sister who grew up in the same home and they did not feel unlovable. How? The truth was that the Mother was a non-emotional, logical and somewhat distant person. Those were the facts. It had nothing to do with my client and yet she had interpreted her Mom’s behavior as meaning that something wrong with her. If she had been lovable, her Mom would have been the nurturing and loving Mother she needed. The client ’s belief that she is unlovable has colored her entire life’s experience. Only it wasn’t true.

Facts versus interpretations. Now look at your divorce. What are the real facts and what are your interpretations of those facts? Perhaps your marriage broke down because you felt your husband was never happy with you and you were the target of his constant criticism. Your husband ’s story is that you were never truly loving and nurturing and he was desperately attempting to fix that situation. The marriage counselor sees something different. She sees that you interpreted his attempts to receive more love as constant criticism. That is indeed how it felt to you. She also sees that he had been somewhat needy and his approach only pushed you farther away.

Our inability to see the truth without our personal interpretations makes it impossible to resolve the conflict. In truth, you may have had an experience from your past where a parent constantly criticized you and you have become extremely sensitive to anything about your behavior. In truth, your husband may have been raised by parents who were not loving towards him and so he craves attention. Whatever. The truth is that we allow our past to serve as a filter for our present and thereby create reactions that are not based in reality. The operative word is reactions: we are only reacting life and not being the master of our fate.

It could be that your marriage broke down because the two of you married for the wrong reaons and you simply cannot make it work. But most people will not admit to that truth and will heap all sorts of blame on one another based on their own personal interpretations of who is at fault.

To break free of the pain of divorce we must be willing to see the facts versus our interpretations of the facts. What is versus what we think is. In order to do that we must be willing to set our egos aside as well as our past. Facing the truth instead of what we want to believe is the truth is what we have to do to be able to make the changes we want in life. That is not necessarily an easy task but it is a necessary one if we are to move forward in our lives. You cannot begin a new life until you end the old one.

Here’s an exercise you can do to start on the road to recovery. Take a piece of paper with two columns: one listing the facts of your marriage’s demise and the other your interpretations of why things went south. For instance, the fact might have been that you and your husband had different ideas on money. Your interpretation of that fact might be that your ex was incredibly cheap. Separate fact from interpretation by being as objective as possible without allowing your personal opinions to cloud the issue.

A good marriage counselor will tell you that a marriage does not fail because of just one partner. Although it may not look like it to you, it is the truth. Even if your ex had an affair, there were reasons for his infidelity other than his lapse in moral judgment. If you are really honest with yourself, you will see the real reasons for why thing happened the way they did.

I had a conversation with a woman whose husband left her and her kids unexpectedly… or so she thought. In reality, he had been taking solo vacations/adventure for the past year. She went along with his absences, assuming full responsibility for their home and children. She had always taken care of everyone and everything, which enabled him to be totally self-absorbed and yet initially she could not understand what had happened, why he left. She gave him all the rope he needed to hang himself or rather, to hang their marriage. When she was honest, she saw that the signs were there all along and that she had a good deal of responsibility for the marriage’s failure. She had been an enabler of bad behavior on his part.

Another old adage states that the truth will set you free. Knowing the difference between the truth and our own personal view of reality will indeed set you free. Grounded in reality, in the truth, we can become the person we want to be and live the life we want to live because we are no longer living in a world of our own making, a fantasy land.

It is how we choose to handle life’s circumstances that matter in the end. We can choose to be truthful with ourselves or we can choose to continue living a convenient interpretation. Al Gore has described facing a harsh reality as an inconvenient truth. I like that idea. Anything worthwhile takes effort. With effort come rewards. If we choose to accept the inconvenient truth, we are choosing a life filled with abundant rewards. The choice is ours to make.

If you are a woman going through the divorce process or are divorced and are looking to create anew and vibrant life, be coached! You can live a life that truly works. You can not only survive this divorce but also thrive. Powerful change is possible. You are fully capable of creating a life that you choose.

Life Coaching is a proven, powerful, one-on-one professional relationship that promises to improve the quality of your life! Learn how to create positive change in your life. Visit http://www.changecoachshelley.com and take your free customized Life Quiz and also Shelley’s Blog at http://shelleyblog.changecoachshelley.com for more tools for personal growth and power.

Contact Shelley Stile at shelleystile@changecoachshelley.com today!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shelley_Stile

A Better Model for Divorce

A Better Model for Divorce
By Cathy Pareto

Can there be dignity in divorce? If you’ve survived your own divorce or have ever seen the movie "War of the Roses" you know that divorce can be an emotionally wrenching process regularly beset with anger, frustration, resentment and not to mention high costs. Unfortunately, traditional divorces are often a zero-sum game where both parties walk away with a bitter taste and a sense of defeat. There is a better solution. This article will explore a relatively new option for divorcing couples that wish to focus on the needs of the entire family by preserving some sense of emotional health, normalcy and cooperation for themselves and their children.

An alternative to the adversarial nature of a litigated divorce, Collaborative Law has recently emerged as a more cost effective solution for couples and families. During a collaborative divorce, each couple is represented by his or her own attorney who agrees to work with each other and the couple in a cooperative arrangement to resolve their issues outside of the traditional court system. Collaborative divorce implements informal methods including voluntary sharing of financial documents, four-way conferences, negotiation, and where needed, outside professionals such as accountants, financial planners and family counselors.

While the idea of a collaborative divorce might seem far fetched to a couple entrenched in the dark emotions of a split, think about this:

• The average divorce process requires one to two years and varies in cost from several hundred on up to several thousand dollars. (Source: Collaborative Divorce Lawyers Association)

Collaborative divorce can help shorten this process while also saving the couple money. Some of the benefits of collaborative divorce are:

• cost of obtaining your divorce to be as much as 80% less than litigated divorce

• couples exert better control of custody and financial issues over a court decision

• couples decrease the stress and arguments related to decisions involving children

• integrates the use of counselors and psychologists to assist with the emotional challenges of a divorce (for both the couples and the children)

• the process is more private than a contested divorce generating court filings, transcripts and hearings in open court

Collaborative Divorce or Mediation

Mediation can also serve as an alternative to a traditional divorce. It does, however, differ slightly from a collaborative divorce. In mediation, the mediator serves as a neutral party who objectively hears both sides of the story to formulate a settlement decision. Neither of the parties is directly represented by attorneys during mediation. Instead, each party advocates for himself but, often consults with attorneys outside of the mediation sessions. The mediator is prohibited from providing any party advice or assistance. Conversely, in a collaborative process, each party is fully and individually represented throughout the process. Therefore, an individual who might not be a skilled negotiator or lacks the legal or financial background to "self represent" might opt instead for the collaborative route.

In either a mediation or collaborative divorce, it is imperative for divorcing couples to analyze all aspects of any potential monetary settlement, including present and future economic issues, before reaching any major economic decisions with respect to the final settlement.

So, can there be dignity in divorce? Absolutely! A collaborative divorce or mediation offer a much more civilized way to end a marital union. The non-combative nature of either process goes a long way toward diminishing the potential hostilities and ill feelings of ending a marriage. Couples are better enabled to preserve and enhance what may remain of their relationship, while inviting a more cooperative partnership during and after the divorce as it pertains to managing finances and co-parenting children

Cathy Pareto, CFP, AIF, MBA

Cathy Pareto and Associates, Inc.
http://www.cathypareto.com

There Is No Such Thing As A Painless Divorce - Unless It Wasn’t Much Of A Marriage To Begin With

There Is No Such Thing As A Painless Divorce - Unless It Wasn’t Much Of A Marriage To Begin With
By Judith Gerhart

How I wish I had this expression posted on my refrigerator as I went through the ups and downs of relief and disbelief of my divorce. The initial period of shock lets you build up the strength to face the pain. Relief and disbelief have been called emotional twins. They seem to capture the feeling of "I don’t believe this" and "Thank God it’s finally out in the open."

At this stage, enormous practical problems come flooding into your life. Who moves out? Who pays for math tutoring? What do you tell your parents? What do you tell your kids? I know I just wanted to stay in limbo and not make decisions. This way I could hold the dream together of what was. I didn’t want to face reality, sorry.

Do you see similar patterns of behaviour?

Research suggests that you will spend the next five years or so re-examining yourself, your marriage and your past. You may begin to see patterns of behaviour. You may see how much your spouse now mirrors many of the issues that existed in your family of origin. How the men in your life are all pretty much the same. Here’s a reality bite: While it once might have been familiar and comfortable, it is no longer acceptable to be treated poorly and to be unappreciated.

Interestingly enough, this reflection often does not cross over into how you view money. Yet we know that the patterns with money are long established in your upbringing and family of origin. Think about the following questions and how they apply to your marriage today…

Who controlled money in your family of origin?
Was money viewed as hard to come by or easy?
What kind of discussions happened around money, if any at all?
Was money admired or discussed as "dirty, bad, wrong?"
What kind of adages did your parents and teachers quote to you: things like "money doesn’t grow on trees" or "it takes money to make money?"

The panic of suddenly being alone

Do you see any patterns around money? Did you expect your partner to provide for you or did you come from a family where women took over for men who didn’t want to control money? I did this so I could have control in the relationship. Yet when it ended, I still felt the panic we all feel when it’s time to face reality on how to get by on your own.

It doesn’t seem to matter. Money becomes a barometer in our marriage much like sex. It’s a tool used for power and control. Research statistics say it is the most common reason for couples fighting.

Understanding the inner game of wealth

But how should we know any better? There are no educational programs for children and young adults to teach them how to break the bonds of our inner game of wealth, until now. Today we are fortunate to find a new environment of coaches and leaders coming forth to talk about the inner game of wealth.

Interestingly, it is the aspect of divorce, separation and widowhood that put this issue on the front burner. How lucky for us that this as happened! We are at an opportune time in history. The resources are now here with books like WOE to WOW and seminars and coaching. Never before have women had the insights, resources and the incomes to revise our basic dreams and make them a reality. Something to think about.

http://www.divorcemyway.com
http://www.woetowow.com

http://www.globalfinancialliteracy.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Judith_Gerhart

Demi Moore Is Doing Divorce Right! And Her Children Are Reaping The Benefits

Demi Moore Is Doing Divorce Right! And Her Children Are Reaping The Benefits
By Rosalind P. Sedacca

Today’s Hollywood is rarely a place to find role models for our culture, especially when it comes to divorce and family issues. Year after year we’ve been exposed to dramatic, painful, explosive relationship breakups resulting in tabloid headlines that feed upon scandal and exploitation.

In a society that worships the rich and famous, this type of circus behavior only serves to reinforce the impression that divorce has to be dirty, destructive and demoralizing for all concerned. Throw an antiquated group of hungry divorce attorneys into the mix - the ones who live for litigation and thrive on aggravating acrimony - and you have a volatile brew destined for disaster.

Fortunately there are exceptions. Not every celebrity is modeling insanity in their relationships. Not every celebrity family is suffering from the emotional and psychological scars that inevitably result when both parents are fighting like pit-bulls, trying to tear each other apart while their children look on helplessly.

One of my favorite examples of divorce done right is Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. These parents take co-parenting seriously and have created a harmonious long-term example of what I call, Child-Centered Divorce. It takes two mature, sane and civilized adults to create a child-centered divorce, but when you consider how insane the alternative is, the peaceful route is the only direction to take. You benefit in many positive ways. Your former spouse benefits, as well. And, most important of all, your children are the real winners! They enjoy a healthy relationship with both of the parents they love and want to continue to love without pressure or guilt.

When recently interviewed about how she manages to maintain a friendship and healthy co-parenting relationship with Bruce Willis, Demi said: "Look, I’m the product of divorced parents, and my brother and I were the pawns in my parent’s game. I never wanted that for my kids. At that time, I could not have seen what a gift that situation was, but without that experience, I would not have known there was a different choice to make in my own divorce."

Bravo, Demi! The key word here is CHOICE. Every parent in a divorce situation has a choice in how they will behave in relation to their ex, their children and the entire family unit. It’s your choice whether you play mind games, foster resentment, express your anger, vent in front of your children, turn sons and daughters into confidents, alienate your children against their other parent and a host of other behaviors destined to create emotional havoc in your children’s lives.

Demi got it right. She learned through her own painful life experience as a child of divorce - and as a pawn of her parents - how it feels to be caught up in the hostilities festering between Mom and Dad. She knew she didn’t want to subject her children to a hurt that lasts a lifetime - and vowed to take a different course. I love that she recognizes this wisdom as a gift. She used her own personal pain as a catalyst for making better choices for her own children. How fortunate they are! And what a wonderful gift her model is for us all.

Hats off to Demi Moore and Bruce Willis! It may not always be easy, or simple, but it’s always worth it. Just ask your children!

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, is the author of the new internationally acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! For more information about the book, her free articles, ezine and other valuable resources for parents, go to: http://www.childcentereddivorce.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rosalind_P._Sedacca

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