John Gottman’s Marriage Tips 101

John Gottman’s Marriage Tips 101

 

Lately I’ve been reviewing the work of John Gottman, a well-known psychotherapist, researcher, and scholar who has devoted his career to helping couples. The Gottman Institute offers great workshops for couples, and Dr. Gottman has published several books on marriage, interpersonal problems, couples with children, you name it.

Here’s a link to a great page on the Gottman Institute’s Web site. It offers several basic tips for couples, and a few surprises. For example, one of the tips is, “Edit yourself. Couples who avoid saying every critical thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest.” This flies in the face of a common assumption: that if we just express everything that’s on our minds, we’ll be a healthier couple. Not so! I like Gottman’s work because he models it on his extensive observation of healthy couples, couples he calls “masters of marriage.” Gottman has found that these healthy couples usually don’t sound like they’re amped up on self-help books. They’ve figured out how to relate authentically with one another, dealing with both positive and negative emotions. But they’ve also learned that, well, I’ll say it this way: they’ve learned that discretion is often the better part of happiness!

Check out Gottman’s work. It’s a great way to learn how to improve your relationship!

http://www.stephencrippen.com/blog/gottmans-marriage-tips-101/