Getting To Date Number Two

May 9, 2008

Getting To Date Number Two
By Pam Baldwin

Before you get too far into this you need to ask yourself if you really want a second date with this person. You need to take into account whether or not you have any type of emotional connection with them. If your personalities appear to be compatible and you have similar senses of humor then you’re probably going to say "yes" to want the second date. However, if these qualities are present then if you approached them about a second they would probably say yes anyway.

If, on the other hand, you have been set up with this person through one of the numerous dating sites online then this is actually your "second date." On these sites they match people up based on your personalities and allow you to get to know each other in an informal setting. Getting to the second date is very similar in how you get to the first date with the person you met online.

The number one trick to getting to second date is just being yourself. Being calm allows your date to get to know the real you. If you are nervous and stammering that’s not the real you and could spoil your chance for a second date. Be self confident is an extremely attractive quality to other people and makes other people want to be around you. Your date should be able to know you as your close friends know you.

Be confident but not so overconfident it puts people off to you. In order to develop that level of confidence you must first succeed in those situations where you must exude that confidence. That’s where the problem is. If you aren’t successful in those situations then it becomes extremely tough to be confident in them. The best thing to do is fake it until you do develop that confidence. The first few times you try it you may be freaking out in your head but keep your composure and play it off. Keep anything self destructive you might say about yourself to yourself and it will work out much better. After a few successful attempts it will get easier each time.

Now, that’s just how to act normal. To become likeable you have to be able to admit your short comings and not become defensive if they are brought up. On the other hand you don’t want to put them in the spot light either. If they do come up at some point show your sense of humor by making a small joke about it and move on. If your date tends to focus on them throughout the duration of your date then you probably don’t want to ask them on a second anyway.

Don’t worry if there isn’t a strong emotional connection right away. They take time to develop, especially if you want one that lasts. However, if you have similar senses of humor, think similarly, and make eye contact easily then you have the start of a good emotional connection.

When the night is over you want to leave the other person wanting more. This is truly the key to getting the second date. If you ask them or they ask you then you succeeded in leaving them wanting more.

Don’t be so afraid of making a mistake that you make up lame excuses to leave when it’s going good either. This can make you seem uninterested. Set a time limit for your date and stick to it. If it’s going extraordinarily well then stick with it as long as you can.

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