Critical Fears Inhibiting Women From Sexl Fears Inhibiting Women From Sex

April 30, 2008

Critical Fears Inhibiting Women From Sex
By Vikky Brown

Various psychological barriers exist why women would shy away from sex. Fear, guilt, anxiety, inexperience and a whole lot of other factors. On thing is certain. One thing is certain; whatever holds her back also prevents both partners from enjoying a truly compelling sexual encounter. Of course not all sexual encounters can be tagged remarkable, but if our sex lives routinely falls short of remarkable, one thing’s for sure, we quickly get bored with our partners.

Everyone understands what fear is. By far the worst factor that hinders us from trying out new things, venturing out into new territory, coming out of our comfort zones is fear. Up till now we’ve already lost a lot through fear. We know what it is and dread it. For a woman, when it comes to sex, fear is an ever present enemy.

What constitutes a woman’s greatest fear in sex? What would make her lock up and deny anyone of her precious spring of passion?

Of course there are certain fears associated with sex that are common to both males and females. The fear of STD’s is one of such. The fear of pregnancy is another. These are well understood by most people and people will only make mistakes concerning these in a fit of loose passion or carelessness.

What are the deeper fears that lie underneath the surface? What are those fundamental unseen fears that gnaw at the hearts of women? We’ll examine these in detail.

The most fundamental fear most women have to deal wit is fear of loss of self esteem. For most women new to sex, it can be a real challenge to let go. It’s just in their psyche to feel that all a man desires is what’s located between their thighs. And when he gets that, that’s all. To be candid, the greatest fear all humans dread is the loss of self esteem. It’s not peculiar to women. It’s just that when it comes to sex, this fear takes on a different dimension. Of course the fact that most men go on to boast about their sexual exploits has not helped matters. No woman loves to be a statistic of any man’s sexual conquest. This account for all the fronts and hard-to-get attitude most women put up when faced with male admirers. Their thinking is that somehow their value to the men would be buoyed and the men would look past any sexual gratification lying along the way.

You usually do not hear of cases of abuse and battering before a couple starts having sex. But few sex encounters down the road you begin to hear of all sorts of things. It’s little wonder then why women are always on their guard.

Another thing that locks most women up is fear of poor sexual performance. Some women are pretty damned scared to find out the truth about their partner’s sexual performance that they work up any type of reason to delay their first encounter. A lot of women are really scared about the prospect of discovering that the person, with whom they’ve invested so much emotionally, falls short of their night - in bed, that is. For quite a number of women, knowing that their partners are sexually unsatisfactory or incapable could mean the end of the honeymoon. So what some women try to do is ‘enjoy the whole game before that first encounter. After that it might well be game over’. Of course few women will hang on in the face of poor or declining sexual performance from their partners, but such women are really few and far between.

Finally, there’s the fear of rejection. Truthfully, a lot of women have deep personality problems especially regarding their appearance. This fear is so strong that some women are moved to think that once a man has his way with them, he” certainly reject them. So they lock up. This fear becomes very strong when the male in question seems to be getting a fair deal of female attention. Sometimes this fear can lead some women to capitulate to sex, but with certain kinds of women sex becomes virtually impossible.

Of course, some of these fears are unfounded, but the onus lies on the man to see that it his women feels secure, loved and adored to make for a healthy relationship.

Understanding the secrets to sexual health and fulfillment is one of vikky brown’s most intense passions. He regularly provides powerful information on this subject on his blog. Meet him at http://www.malewatch.wordpress.com