Compatibility for Marriage - Am I Too Young to Get Married?
April 30, 2008
Compatibility for Marriage - Am I Too Young to Get Married?
By Heather Del Villano
Marriage compatibility isn’t just about personality. It is also about maturity.
How old are you? How old is your fiance or fiancee? Are you or they under the age of 25?
There is no magic age to get married. Younger couples and older couples alike can have very happy and successful marriages. However, on average, couples that get married under the age of 25 are significantly more likely to get divorced than their older counterparts. Statistics show the younger you are when you marry, the more likely you are to split up.
After 25, age stops having an impact on your chances of getting divorced.
Why is it that those who marry young have a harder time staying together?
Partly, it is just that people are like fine wines: it takes them years to mature! Wisdom comes with experience and experience takes time. The younger you are, the more likely that you lack some of the emotional development and communications skills needed for a lifetime relationship. There are rare exceptions of course: some are more mature at 16 than others are at 60!
And part of the explanation is probably money. Struggling financially is stressful, for you and your relationship. And the people most likely to be struggling are those who are just starting out in the work world. (Maybe with big student loans on top of it all.)
Also, many younger married couples are tying the knot for the wrong reasons. Perhaps an unplanned pregnancy, perhaps a desire to leave the family home and suddenly seem "grown up", or perhaps it just seems like the right thing to do because you really love the other person. It also might be the case, especially for many younger women, that they are caught up in the fairytale ideal of being a bride and a wife.
If you are under 25 and are getting married, what can you do?
I’d recommend one of the following to give yourselves the best possible chance at success in marriage:
1. Wait a few years before getting married, if possible. If you are in love enough to get married, a year or two shouldn’t matter.
2. Hold off on having children for the first few years. That will give you invaluable time to enjoy yourselves as a couple, before the demands of parenting. Actually, this is good advice for most couples. But the younger you are, the more freedom you have before the biological clock starts ticking.
3. Do some kind of marriage preparation through your church or synagogue, with a counselor, or through an online service. There are also lots of good books on the subject, if you honestly think you’ll read them!
At the very least, ask yourself (and be honest): What is the rush? Am I really getting married for the right reasons? What is the worst that would happen if we didn’t get married right away?
Above all, remember EVERY marriage takes effort and you will get out what you put into it.
Heather del Villano, the marriage prep diva at CouplesQuestions Online Marriage Education — http://www.couplesquestions.com
Click here for a free Marriage Compatibility Test
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Heather_Del_Villano
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